For the third time this week, I’ve had a friend of mine change her Facebook page and reinvite me as a friend, why? She needed a reboot. Actually, she was fine, her facebook profile needed the reboot, not her.
Due to the politics, raging emotions, and general negativity that each of these friends have experienced from others on their facebook newsfeed, they were reinventing their Facebook presence and shutting down the old news so they could get some fresh and inspirational news. I thought it was a brilliant idea for my friends and I wish to share with you what you can do to give your emotional life a reboot.
I have read many self-help books in my lifetime. Not only to fix the stuff that my spiritual, mental or emotional life needed, but to also help struggling friends and family. Here is the system I use to identify what I need to change depending on the emotion I am feeling at the time.
I got this list as a compilation of many resources the primary one being, Resonant Leadership: Renewing Yourself and Connecting with Others Through Mindfulness, Hope and Compassion, by Richard Boyatzis & Annie McKee.
This was a handy book for me to read since I was changing my business model and knew there were areas of my life that needed renewal. My goal was to increase my effectiveness as a Mom, Writer, Girl Scout Leader, Boy Scout Leader, and Community Citizen.
First, I evaluated where I was in theses 5 emotional states:
Stressed, Anxious, Depressed
The feeling will dictate the area of my life I need to focus:
1. Frustrated (Deal with the Manager Self) Capitalize on your Uniqueness
2. Bored (Deal with the Leadership Self) Work harder on your vision then implement changes
3. Unfulfilled (Deal with Romantic Self) Work on your love life and romance needs
4. Burnout (Work on Personal Self) Stop doing what you don’t like! Create change!
5. Stressed (Work on Mission Self) What is the one thing only you can do in the whole world?
But what if you are unsure exactly what you want? What your mission or purpose is? That is a question of your vision for yourself. When you are unsure of what you want in the moment, this is a clear sign that you are not in Creation Mode. Creation Mode is the active participation of building your own life. If you are confused, unsure and feeling lost. It is time to start answering the questions below. By the way, this was the list of questions I created for “Janine” to get direction in her life.
Answer the following questions to the best of your ability:
1. What do I want? (if this spins you out, answer it last!)
2. What do I need to learn?
3. Who do I need to help me?
4. What do I need to feel?
5. What do I need to do?
6. What do I want most right now?
7. What do I NOT want?
By answering these questions and understanding the area of your life that needs help to pull you out of a negative, emotional state, you will feel better immediately. I have used this exercise five times in the past three years to pull me out of a negative state of mind. Once I was feeling depressed, another time I was burned-out and in the most recent past, I was incredibly frustrated.
Every time I use these questions to center my thinking and refocus my energies, I come away a much better person and my attitude is 100% lighter than when I started.
I do hope that you find it as useful as I have. Good luck!
Janine Bolon, Fool & Founder of The8Gates. Janine writes your story so you can live the life you want. Find out how she does it here: http://the8gates.com/old/contact/